Swish and Filk – Potter Style Filks and such

Dim and Clumsy

Images of Matt Lewis by Warner Bros

Best Male Performance

Listen here: Dim and Clumsy

Written and performed by RylOraMcBeck to the tune of “White and Nerdy” by Weird Al Yankovic, who parodied it from “Ridin’ Dirty” by Chamillionaire

They see me dig in my garden
I know they’re all thinking I’m so dim and clumsy
Think I’m just too dim and clumsy
Think I’m just too dim and clumsy
Can’t you see I’m dim and clumsy
Look at me. I’m dim and clumsy

I wanna role with Gryffindors
But so far they all think I’m too dim and clumsy
Think I’m just too dim and clumsy
Think I’m just too dim and clumsy
I’m just too dim and clumsy
Really, really dim and clumsy

First in my class in herbology
Got skills, can prune Whompin Willow trees
Professor Sprout, that’s my favorite HP
In divination, reading the tea leaves
My parents haven’t died, to the contrary
You’ll find that they’re quite stationary
See my brand new wand is made of cherry
Phyllida Spore’s in my library

My remembrall is totally red now
Gotta be somethin’ that I’m forgettin’
Yo, where’s Trevor, how can I’ve misplaced him
Ain’t got no clue, but I still must find him
I ruin all my cauldrons in so many ways
I’m a goof-up in potions, I could try for days
You can see it’s no use, you’re gonna be amazed
You won’t believe just how fast I set the room ablaze

There’s no killer plant that I haven’t grown (grown)
You try growing some of your own (own)
Grow some Devil’s Snare just for fun
For fertilizer, I use a ton of Dragon Dung (what?)
Happier days is what I pray on
I could sure kick your butt in a game of gobstones
I’ll stand my ground no matter what the bullies bring
on
Duel with Crabbe and Goyle as well as Malfoy
That you can count on

They see me fall off a Broomstick
I know in my heart they think I’m dim and clumsy
Think I’m just too dim and clumsy
Think I’m just too dim and clumsy
Can’t you see I’m dim and clumsy
Look at me, I’m dim and clumsy

I’d like to go to the Yule Ball
Although it’s apparent I’m too dim and clumsy
Think I’m just too dim and clumsy
Think I’m just too dim and clumsy
I’m just too dim and clumsy
How’d I get so dim and clumsy

My parents I’ve been respectin’
Bubble gum wrappers, you know I collect them
I put them in my pocket, I must protect them
My herbology textbook never leaves me bored
I practice all night for my DADA trivia
I have a Mimbulus Mimbletonia
I memorized the textbook really well
I can recite it right now and have you rolling your
eyes, I can tell

I got determination on my face (my face)
When my friends need some help, who do they call
I would do some fightin’ for them all
Even if the guy’s like ten feet tall
Yo, I got myself into a pack
of Gryffindors who wanna fight back
Spend my nights in the Room of Requirement
Swish, flick! Hope they all see me improving

I’m clumsy in the extreme
And seems like I’m in a dream
I fought in the Ministry of Magic
And even the Great Hall
You know the toughest time that I can recall
Was could I stand up to my friends at all
Spend every week-end down in Greenhouse 3
Gonna get an OWL in herbology

Slitherins are strollin’, they’re laughin’
And rollin they’re eyes cause I’m so dim and clumsy
Just because I’m dim and clumsy
Just because I’m dim and clumsy
All because I’m dim and clumsy
Holy Cow, I’m dim and clumsy

I’m gonna stand by Gryffindors
And it’s clear, I’m no longer dim and clumsy
I’m no longer dim and clumsy
I’m no longer dim and clumsy